My birthday is coming up. Not quite sure what I want to do yet, but I’m certain it will involve copious amounts of alcohol - in a celebratory manner of course. I really thought I’d be depressed or somewhat saddened as another year has almost whizzed by and the dark and looming stamp of ancientness is just that much closer.
But, I’m actually looking forward to it.
I think that’s such a great number. No, really. It’s the year I take a good look at myself in the mirror and take audit of everything I’ve accomplished and or failed to do in my twenties. I’ll have to say, I’m not doing too shabby. I’m exactly where I imagined myself to be. I’ve been blessed in so many ways.
It’s the year I set my goals for what I want to achieve/what I aspire to do in my thirties. (ok, slight eek right after I typed that). Which leads me to think about what I’m leaving behind as well. I’m finally closing the chapter on a big part of my life, and I can honestly say without hesitation that although it is with mixed emotions, I feel such a weight lifted off my shoulders. People come and go in your life, some stay longer than others. It’s impossible not to change, to stop evolving as a person throughout the years. And while people become more complex, what shouldn’t be difficult is friendship. When you stop seeing eye to eye, when it gets hard to just talk, then perhaps it’s just time to say goodbye. Friendship should always be about understanding one another, never passing judgement - but once again, if you are left in complete disbelief and questioning motives, then it’s definitely time to move on.
Of course there are regrets, but those eventually fade with time while life is filled with other moments, other memories. The ones that I know I will make with the folks I choose to hold on to, even closer and tighter then I did before.